You’re facing a big challenge at work and can’t come up with any innovative ideas. Maybe your business is flagging or a particular area in your personal life has stalled. Either way, you could really use fresh new ideas to spice things up.

In situations like these it’s tempting to go seek help from the experts. After all, someone much more knowledgeable should be the best source of ideas, right?

Well, maybe not.

The Problem with Experts

Experts need to specialize. They need to draw boundaries around their subjects so they can narrow their focus and be as effective as possible in their fields.

This ‘compartmentalization in thinking’ is immensely useful in speeding up problem solving. It also means experts usually fall short in stretching their thinking beyond their areas of expertise, and as such fail to see the big picture.

Michael Michalko puts it well in his book Thinkertoys: “It’s like brushing one tooth. You get to know that one tooth extremely well, but you lose the rest of them in the process.”

But it gets worse: experts may not only miss obvious solutions, but they may actually cause harm, forcing inadequate solutions that fall within their area of expertise. “To the man who only has a hammer, everything he encounters begins to look like a nail”, psychologist Abraham Maslow wisely remarked.

Although experts are often useful, when it comes to innovation you may actually be better off without them.

An Alternative: Embrace The Nonexperts Around You

The alternative to talking to experts is — drum roll — talking to nonexperts, of course.

Regular people around you. Your soccer buddies. The garbage collector. Uncle Bob. It doesn’t matter who: anyone outside your field, anyone who’s strange to the problem — anyone who “doesn’t know the rules” will do.

Regular people — nonexperts — don’t have enough experience to know where to draw boundaries: they’re unaware of limitations or “how things are supposed to work”. In their naïveté, they’ll miss many constraints and assumptions you take for granted — which is exactly the point. These are the people who will most likely spark fresh new ideas for you. They can genuinely think outside the box: for them, there’s no box.

We have a tendency to always go after more specialized people for getting help in our problems — and that works in many cases. But for creative endeavors, perhaps all you need is someone who knows less.

The great news is that there is no shortage of nonexperts around you. Everyone is a nonexpert at most things. All you need is to know how to tap into their non-expertise in the area you need help. Here are 3 tips to help.

1. Meet Different Kinds of People — Lots of Them!

To build a solid network of idea-generating friends, first and foremost you need to strive for diversity.

It doesn’t matter if you have 500 peers to draw ideas from if everybody else’s mind is the same: it’s not a matter of how many people you know, it’s how many kinds.

Resist the temptation to seek advice only from people who think alike: it’s comfortable, I know, but it hinders you from fully expanding your mind. Go out and mix with people with diverse interests for a change!

Getting in touch with many different perspectives is guaranteed to keep your creative juices flowing (and as a bonus you become a much more interesting person in the process!).

Find out how different people would tackle your problem. How would a nurse do it? A 5-year-old child? An economist? Your mom?

Never miss the opportunity to have casual conversations with strangers. The butcher, the old lady ahead of you in the line and the ice cream vendor are all sources of potentially useful ideas. Even if you don’t discuss your particular problem directly (which of course may not always be a sensible thing to do), discovering different perspectives about random life subjects is useful in itself to spark new ideas.

2. Seek Out Idea-Oriented People

Having an abundant circle of relationships always comes first, but after striving for quantity, you now need to make sure you have quality relationships too!

There’s a certain breed of people that you’ll always benefit from having around: it’s the kind of thinkers that spark your imagination whenever you talk to them. You know who they are:

• They love original ideas and use them in their businesses and lives.
• They are relentlessly curious and pay attention to the world around them.
• They may be naïve about your business, but are not stupid or ignorant of the things that matter.
• They have great wits and challenge the absurdity in things.

Make a list of people who you know have those traits and arrange to spend more time with them. Never let too much time pass without staying in touch with them. Discuss your challenges and ask for ideas — or just engage in idle chatting (which also sparks a torrent of ideas in itself).

Having such vibrant people around you is invaluable for your creativity and too fun to miss out.

3. Engage in “Fool Mode” (Assume Everybody’s a Genius)

This is a fun technique I use sometimes. I like to call it “Fool Mode”.

When I’m in “fool mode”, everybody knows the solutions to my problems. Everybody is a genius — except me. In fact, not only do they know the solution I’m looking for, but they may be already giving it away — the only caveat being they’re talking in riddles — so it’s my job to figure it out!

Adopting the fool’s mindset works great because it checks our tendency to kill ideas before giving them at least some thought.

Think about this: When someone presents us an idea we can’t see the use for, our tendency is to dismiss it immediately, labeling it a ‘stupid idea’. Now what if the other person were a well-known genius — like, say, Einstein? Would you not consider paying a little more attention to what he would have to say? Of course you would! It’s in that thinking — trying to force relationships between seemingly unrelated ideas — that your breakthrough idea may lie.

Being in “fool mode” is also fun and teaches important lessons: You open your mind to the world. You temporarily suspend judgment and let go of any intellectual arrogance you may have. You assume everybody has something to contribute — and what you come to realize, of course, is that they do.

In Closing

You shouldn’t expect random people to actually solve a complex problem they don’t know about. But, if you have an open mind and are willing to listen, they can spark off a torrent of fresh new ideas, which may be just enough for you to solve the problem yourself.

So, by all means don’t dismiss experts. They have more experience and can often help you. But don’t forget that the great innovative ideas are usually elsewhere. The solution you’re looking for may be with your neighbor or with weird uncle Bob — you just need to go get it.

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In this post, I present a mind map with the summary of the book Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher, William Ury and Bruce Patton. (To skip the rest of the post and go directly to the online mind map, click here.)

First Things First

Like it or not, you are a negotiator.

We tend to have a mental image of negotiation as being something restricted to executives in large corporations or politicians arranging complex deals. But negotiation is a skill that everybody uses every day; not only when buying a car or asking for a raise, but in a myriad of trivial situations such as when agreeing with somebody on which restaurant to go or which movie to watch.

Learning to better negotiate is more useful than you would probably think.

The Negotiation Dilemma

I was always averse to the whole idea of negotiation (just like I was to business networking). I always saw it as a contest of wills, where one side tries to win by subduing the other — either by exerting power or by using manipulative techniques. No wonder I tried to avoid it as much as I could.

This mindset makes many of us face a dilemma: without knowing any better, we end up having to choose between the only two forms of negotiation we know: soft or hard.

From the book:

[…] The soft negotiator wants to avoid personal conflict and so makes concessions readily in order to reach agreement. He wants an amicable resolution; yet he often ends up exploited and feeling bitter.

The hard negotiator sees any situation as a contest of wills in which the side that takes the more extreme positions and holds out longer fares better. He wants to win; yet he often ends up producing an equally hard response which exhausts him and his resources and harms his relationship with the other side. (p. xvii)

Enter Principled Negotiation

The solution to this dilemma is to avoid the hard and soft positioning altogether by using a third alternative called Principled Negotiation. This method, which is described in detail in the book, is based on four principles:

1. Separate the people from the problem
2. Focus on interests, not positions
3. Invent options for mutual gain
4. Insist on using objective criteria

To have a quick overview on how these four principles apply in practice, compare the attitudes involved from the point of view of soft, hard and ‘principled’ negotiators:

What If the Other Side Doesn’t Collaborate?

“All nice in theory”, you might say, “but what if the other part I’m negotiating with doesn’t give a damn about this ‘principled negotiation’ thing?”

That’s exactly what I thought when reading the book for the first time; and exactly what the book promptly dealt with (don’t you love when authors read your mind?). The questions “What if they’re more powerful?”, “What if they won’t play nice” and “What if they use dirty tricks?” each get their own chapter with specific techniques you can use to tame the hard bargainer.

Full Book Summary

Find below the links to the mind map with the full contents of the book.

As usual, this summary was created so I could quickly recall the book as well as pass the knowledge along to others. I loved this book and hope you enjoy it too!

Get the mind map for Getting to Yes:

• Online interactive version
  Viewable in your browser, requires Flash Player.
• Download map in MindManager format
  212 kb, requires MindManager.
• Download map in FreeMind format
  87 kb, requires FreeMind.

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Have you ever found yourself in the embarrassing position of forgetting someone’s name, right at the most inappropriate time? This is an awkward and common situation, but by following some basic principles you can easily avoid it from ever happening to you again.

5 Steps to Commit Names to Memory

1. Be Motivated to Meet People

The most important step in remembering people’s names is to acknowledge that people are important and you are genuinely interested in them.

Very often we become too focused on our personal goals, letting relationships slip away. However, we need to be conscious about what people represent in our lives and acknowledge every new relationship as being important to us. Just by adopting this mindset – without resorting to any other technique – your chances of remembering anyone’s name will improve dramatically: No amount of memory tricks can replace genuine interest in people.

2. Pay Sincere Attention to Introductions

• Focus on the person.
  Not paying attention to the other person is the leading cause of forgetting names. In introductions, most people are only preoccupied with what they’ll say next, anxious to cause a good impression. Relax, focus on the person and just listen: the best impression you can make is by calling the person by name later.
• Make sure you heard it right.
  This may sound too obvious, but you need to make sure you heard the name correctly. If you didn’t hear it well the first time, you shouldn’t be embarrassed to ask the person to repeat it – actually, this is often perceived as a good thing, as it shows that you care. Moreover, if Mr. Csikszentmihalyi speaks too fast, don´t be ashamed to ask to repeat his name slowly. He will almost certainly not be annoyed; also, the more uncommon a name is, the more surprised the person will be when you say it correctly later on.

3. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat

We usually forget a name during the first few minutes after hearing it for the first time. By using the person’s name in the next few minutes after you first hear it, you are taking a great step in committing it to your memory.

• Use it immediately.
  “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Robinson”. This not only counts as a memory aid, but also gives the person a chance to correct you in case you got the name incorrectly.
• Repeat silently.
  “Robinson, Robinson, Robinson”. Mental repetition is especially effective when you combine it with other senses – such as doing it while looking in her eyes or shaking hands.
• Introduce the person to others.
  Every repetition counts, and taking the initiative to introduce people to each other will also help expand your social circle.
• Repeat the name throughout the conversation.
  “So, Mrs. Robinson, what do you do for a living?”. Throwing the person’s name in the conversation once in a while really works wonders for your memory and keeps the conversation more engaging. Just be careful to sound natural and not overdo it.

4. Associate!

If you’re still not getting results, we’ll need to resort to some memory tricks. We know that memory works best by associating images, so let’s put that concept to good use here. We’ll need two images: one for the person (usually the face) and another for the name. Creating the association is pretty easy:

1. Make the person’s face as vivid as possible.
   Humans are already equipped with the best face-recognition software available, but every bit we do to improve the image can help. Exaggerate a distinguishing feature in the person’s face to make it remarkable and humorous, turning the face into a caricature. Pick the first feature that grabs your attention: eyebrows, nose, forehead, avoiding characteristics that may easily change, such as hairstyle, clothes or glasses.
2. Transform the name into an image.
   We are particularly good at remembering faces, but why don’t names usually come naturally to us? That happens because names are too abstract – we need to find a way to convert them into images, so that our brains understand and better deal with them. You can do this in many ways:
   • Use a known person’s figure.
     Picture the person you just met with a known namesake – either a personal friend or a famous figure. Make them interact in ludicrous or unexpected ways.
   • Find a word that rhymes with the name.
     Paying attention to the way the name sounds is also an easy way to find associations. As usual, imagine the picture for the rhyme word and combine it with the person’s image in a strong way. “Jake drowning in a lake” may be tragic, but works.
   • Play with words.
     You shouldn’t be limited to rhymes only: use any word similarities that suit you best. “Margarine melting down Margaret’s blonde hair” is an image that fits all outrageousness requirements. Don’t try to be too elaborated, though – the first association you come up with will usually be the most effective.

For some people, remembering the first letter of a name is enough for remembering it all. If that’s your case, you can define alphabet pegs for the name first letter and use them as linking pictures. This technique is explained in depth in the article ‘Improve Your Memory by Speaking Your Mind’s Language‘. Think ‘Billy the Bear’ or ‘Sandra the Snake’.

5. Review the Name Soon

Reviewing a person’s name and writing it down in the next day or so makes remembering names virtually infallible.

If you’re serious about making and keeping relationships, you probably already have a database with all your contacts. Adding the new contact to your personal contact database is a great opportunity to commit it to your memory. Don’t add only the contact’s name, but also other useful information such as place and date where you first met.

You will have the added benefit of being able to look up the names in your database when you know you’ll meet these people again.

How to Handle Those Sudden Memory Lapses?

What if it’s too late and you already find yourself in the dreadful situation of forgetting someone’s name?

First of all, don’t avoid talking to the person whose name you forgot: the risk of not developing a potential relationship is not worth it.

Another common behavior (of which I was once guilty as charged, I must admit) is calling people with expressions such as ‘man‘, ‘pal’, ‘my friend’. These are fine if you use them once or twice, but they wear out pretty quickly and you’ll risk getting even more embarrassed later.

Try these more elegant solutions instead:

1. Admit It

Being honest and admitting the memory blackout is the simplest and most obvious solution, which you should seriously consider as your preferred choice. Remember that the essential thing is to have the attitude of considering people important. If you do and your memory still fails you, there’s no reason to feel guilty at all. Admit it as soon as possible and get the issue out of the way. Don’t make a big deal of it – everybody forgets names every now and then.

When telling the truth, be gentle and polite: you may be surprised how people actually appreciate some candidness.

2. Introduce Others Skillfully

The most awkward situation for a person who forgot someone’s name is to be forced to introduce that very person to someone else. But if you do it skillfully, you can use that seemingly unpleasant situation in your favor. Try the following line: “I want you to meet someone: this is my friend John”. Then let the conversation flow; it will probably finish with your answer: —“Hi John, nice to meet you. I’m Robert.”

3. Recover Context Information

A great way to increase the chances of remembering someone’s name is by remembering specific information about the person or about the circumstances when you first met. If you can’t remember, you can try letting the person provide you the missing pieces: “What are you up to these days?” or “How’s the business going?” are good lines that don’t raise much suspicion.

Make It Easy for Others

Now that you won’t forget people’s names again, how about fixing the problem from the other side – making it easy for others to remember your name? You not only make yourself more memorable, but you also save other people the embarrassment. Try these tips:

• Always say your name slowly and in a clear voice.
• Introduce yourself first:“Hi, I’m Bob; we met at the company cocktail party last month.” This line has the added benefit of also encouraging the other person to say his name.
• When being introduced, you may want to “teach” others how to remember your name. “By the way, have we met already? I’m Luciano Passuello — you know, just like in ‘Luciano Pavarotti‘: I am no Italian singer, but my mom once said I can make damn good pasta!”

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In this post, I present a mind map with the full summary of the book ‘Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time‘. (To skip the rest of the post and go directly to the mind map, click here)

In his insightful bestseller, Keith Ferrazzi makes the point that relationships are one of the most important keys to success. Of course, we all know relationships are highly significant in our lives – but Ferrazzi really takes the concept to the next level, organizing his entire career and lifestyle around relationships.

Although the book is clearly business-focused, its concepts are equally applicable to our personal lives as well. For me, the focus on business relationships came to very good use, as it debunked many negative associations I had with the overall concept of business networking.

Networking? Yuck!

When I used to think about the word ‘networking’, the image that usually came to mind was of ambitious, fake-smiling jerks in suits – well-versed in all kinds of manipulative tactics, either trying to find innocent victims or bumping into each other in so-called “networking events”.

I had always seen business relationships as being completely different from personal relationships: on one side, there were friends; on the other, contacts. While friendships are warm and caring, business relationships always felt as being cold, artificial and shallow.

Never Eat Alone shows that this doesn’t need to be the case and that business relationships should also be rooted on friendship and generosity – and that, just like personal relationships, they can be based on authentic connection. The idea of blurring the distinction between business and personal relationships was the major lesson from the book for me, as it radically shifted my negative perception of business relationships to a much more positive and productive one.

Many Gems

Never Eat Alone is really packed with insights and practical tips. It shows, among other topics, that mastering small-talk is extremely important (which I always regarded as empty and unnecessary), as well as useful pointers on numerous topics, such as how to behave in conferences and how to build your personal brand – without becoming a networking jerk.

To get the full picture of the contents, I recommend you check out the book summary below. It is in mind map format, and just like the other book summaries I’ve done, I created it with the intention of easily revisiting the full contents of the book later.

For another comprehensive summary of the book, I recommend 106 Tips to Become a Master Connector, where Donald Latumahina of Life Optimizer presents a great list of tips from the book.

Especially if you’re not a natural connector, you may think that Keith is a bit too hardcore about networking sometimes, but the merit of the book lies exactly in that: by reading it, you become so immersed in this relationship-based way of thinking that you’ll inevitably pay more attention to your relationships and find opportunities to apply the tips from the book to improve your life.

Related Articles

• Getting to Yes
• The Now Habit
• The Medici Effect
• One Small Step Can Change Your Life
• Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die

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