Changing how we talk to ourselves is the easiest and most powerful way to overcome procrastination. No other method that I know of disarms procrastination so rapidly and at such a fundamental level: that of our own thoughts.
The Voices In Our Heads
We’re talking to ourselves all the time inside our minds. Even when you’re not paying attention, these relentless mental debates deeply influence our feelings and, ultimately, our behavior.
The good news is that just becoming aware of such mental dialogues — noticing patterns and turning them into productive statements — is usually all you need to overcome many unwelcome feelings and behaviors.
Let’s see how this can help us when it comes to procrastination.
The Procrastinator’s Motto
Consider the following thought, which for sure has crossed our minds many times in the past:
“I have to finish this long, important project. It should already be done by now and I need to plow through it.”
Now, tell me you don’t have this thought sometimes. For me, no other passage embodies our procrastinator’s mind so well: as we’ll see, this small, seemingly innocent thought contains almost every mental block that encourages procrastination. That’s why I like to call it the Procrastinator’s Motto.
We all use the Procrastinator’s Motto (or variations of it) every once in a while. If you’re a chronic procrastinator, chances are you repeat it to yourself very frequently — daily, perhaps.
But what’s so wrong about the Procrastinator’s Motto? In what ways do these words encourage procrastination so much — and what can we do about it?
From Procrastinator to Producer: A Step-by-Step Self Talk Guide
To understand what’s wrong with the Procrastinator’s Motto, let’s break it down in parts:
“(1) I have to (2) finish this (3) long, (4) important project. (5) It should already be done by now and (6) I need to plow through it.”
Now let’s consider each of these six parts in turn, replacing each of them with an empowering alternative. In doing that, we’ll turn the original motto on its head and create a productive call to action: a “Producer’s Motto”, if you like.
1. I Have To → I Choose To
‘I have to’ is every procrastinator’s favorite expression. It’s also the most disempowering.
Every time you say to yourself that you have to do something, you imply that you don’t have any choice. This choice of words implies that you feel forced or coerced to do the task — that you don’t really want to do it. That perception, of course, elicits a strong feeling of victimhood and resistance towards doing the task.
The solution to this problem is to replace ‘I have to’ with the immensely more empowering alternative ‘I choose to’.
Everything you do is ultimately a choice (yes, even completing tax forms). Using language that expresses choice reminds you of that and brings the feeling of power back.
For an in-depth exploration about the ‘I have to’ expression, check this early article dedicated entirely to this matter.
2. Finish → Start
When you focus on finishing something, you direct your attention to a vague, highly idealized future. Visualizing a finished project is motivating for many people, but from the point of view of who’s having a hard time starting a task, visualizing a hard-to-grasp future can be overwhelming — even depressing at times.
The solution in this case, then, is not to focus on finishing, but on starting.
Forget for a minute about the finish line, just concentrate on taking the first step. Bring your focus from the future to what can be done right now. We all know that if you start something a large enough number of times, you’ll eventually finish any task.
Starting — all by itself — is usually sufficient to build enough momentum to keep the ball rolling from then on. This is what Mark Forster calls the “I’ll just get the file out” technique, and it definitely works.
3. Long Project → Short Task
Constantly reminding yourself how long and challenging the upcoming undertaking is only adds to the feeling of being overwhelmed, and thus of procrastination.
Any undertaking, no matter how daunting, can be broken down into small steps. The trick is to, on each step along the way, focus solely on the very next smallest, doable chunk of work. Ignore the big picture for a while and just tackle that next short task.
Make it in a way you can easily visualize the outcome coming about very soon. Don’t write a book; write a page. If it still looks intimidating, you may try committing to a time box instead.
Of course, keep the big picture in mind, but use it for motivation and direction as needed, and not to frighten yourself before action.
4. Important Project → Imperfect Step
“This project has to impress everyone; I really can’t blow this opportunity.”
Placing such high hopes on a project only adds to anxiety and fear of failure. Perfectionism arises and only fuels procrastination even more.
The way to overcome this mental block is to simply give yourself permission to be human. Allow yourself to be imperfect just in this next small task.
Focus on giving an imperfect step; remember that you can always refine your work later. Better yet, make it in a way that you can’t possibly fail.
If you’re a serial perfectionist, go one step further and commit yourself to make a sloppy job on purpose, at least at first.
5. It Should Already Be Done by Now → I’ll Feel Terrific
The expression ‘should‘ is usually associated with blame and guilt. When you say you should be doing something (instead of what you’re actually doing), you focus on comparing an ideal reality with your current, “bad” reality. You focus not on what is, but on what could have been. Misused ‘shoulds‘ can elicit a strong message of failure, depression and regret.
The solution is to focus not on how bad you feel now, but on how good you’ll feel after you take action. Yes, directed action — even the tiniest of it — towards a goal is the best motivator I know of. The trick is to bring that expected feeling of accomplishment into the present — and know that the real joy of it is only a small task away.
6. Need to Plow Through → Have Plenty of Time for Play
“I’ve got to work all weekend”. “I am trapped in this laborious project”.
Long periods of isolation can bring an enormous feeling of resentment. This feeling generates a strong sense of deprivation and resistance towards the task.
The way to overcome this mental block is to not allow long stretches of work to creep in your activities. Schedule frequent breaks. Plan small rewards along the way. Have something to look forward to — not far away at the end of a long stretch — but in the very near feature. When rewards are small, frequent — and deserved — they work wonders.
Truly commit to leisure time. In fact, go ahead and make it mandatory. This “reverse-psychology” can by itself bring you to a whole different mindset, both more productive and enjoyable.
How Far Have We Come?
Time to check what we’ve accomplished with all the word substitutions. We started with:
“I have to finish this long, important project. It should already be done by now and I need to plow through it.”
And ended up with:
“I choose to start this task with a small, imperfect step. I’ll feel terrific and have plenty of time for play!”
Quite a change, eh?
Every time you catch yourself repeating the Procrastinator’s Motto or any of its parts to yourself, stop and rephrase it. Then check how you feel.
While it may seem just a matter of word choices at first, when you try this simple way to reframe your thoughts, you’ll see how instantly it changes your attitude towards working on your tasks. Moreover, if you turn it into a habit, you’ll be slowly reprogramming your thoughts, leading to a positive, permanent change in your mindset.
The whole idea of using self talk to overcome procrastination first came to me first via Neil Fiore’s great book The Now Habit, from which I learned a great deal.
While the book deals with much more than self talk (self talk is just one of the many chapters, check a summary of the book if you’re interested), that chapter alone made the most profound changes on how I deal with procrastination today.
Loading ...
It’s a great great post !
This was the subject of one of my yesterday thought.
I read Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” and one of his advice is prayer.
In my point of view (I have no religion), pray myself is as powerfull as pray God.
Don’t you think ?
Another great post. I really need to work on my procrastination habits. Oooh. I’ll break it down into a small, doable step… I need to stop clicking “Stumble!” and get back to work.
Interesting post, Luciano.
I’m inclined to think it goes a little far in disecting, and that implementing the first two points could make a huge difference on their own.
Stumbled!
My version:
I really want to start just a little thing towards this project and it will make me feel good to make some progress, no matter how small, and tomorrow I’ll make a point of doing it a little more for only fifteen minutes or so, and it won’t hurt at all.
Hey .. this is a great way transform entire sentence. Could apply this technique at a lot of other places as well.
Yeah - great post. I’m also having huge problems with that “Stumble” button. I think I should just disable the StumbleUpon toolbar until I’ve ’started my small project with an imperfect step’.
I did, however, find this post through StumbleUpon. I’ll use StumbleUpon as my rewards during the frequent breaks.
Thanks for a useful post!
Great article. Procrastination really is a killer of dreams. I like the ready, fire, aim way of thinking about things. It has worked well for me.
Heya Luciano!
I’d like to add in another level to go from Have to -> Choose to… and that would be I Like to!
How about that?
Great article, many thanks.
What an insightful post! I connected more with the point, ‘…not to focus on finishing, but on starting.’ I think this is the area I need to work on. Actually, I’ve found out that all one really has to do is to aim at starting and like this post advises, focus on doing the next step in the project.
Thanks for the insight
Great insights! I’ve been knowingly procrastinating recently on getting a project done. I’ve been using the procrastinator’s motto! This must have been intended specifically for me. I love how you morphed the motto into a much better way of looking at the situation. Thanks!
Thanks all for the comments!
@Daniel Richard: Using ‘I like to’ instead of ‘I have to’ is an interesting proposition.
However, we need to be careful not to delude ourselves.
If you think about the task and genuinely come to the conclusion that you’d like to do it, go ahead and use that expression — I’m sure it’s the best one to use in that case.
But if it’s not true, I would say stick with ‘I choose to’. We always need to be careful to reframe sentences in a positive way, but making sure we’re not deluding ourselves — otherwise the method won’t work in the long run.
@Jason, @Andre: I also have my share of trouble with that ‘Stumble!’ button. I guess that the problem is that clicking it is such a small, imperfect step, isn’t it?
Great first couple of paragraphs! I’ll read the rest later.
Hi there,
I was just ’stumbling through’ and stopped to read your article. It’s excellent! Thanks for that….I also subscribed to your newsletter.
Cheers!
Chere
Hello, Luciano.
I like where you take our internal monologue on procrastination. I have experienced this so often, particularly when writing — it is not so much where I begin but THAT I begin.
Another way of thinking about this is that the task at hand is a journey. To complete any journey we must be en route.
Martin
http://www.mindevolvesoftware.com
A total change in thinking when we change our words. A great post!
Great article. One of the most difficult reasons to procrastinating is thinking of all the reasons why you can’t do something or fear of failure. I have found that creating a good plan in the beginning really helps for that.
We can use the same approach when facing obstacles. Are they problems or challenges? Learning to use the word challenge instead of problem has an amazing effect on our outlook.
Is our day plagued with problems or full of opportunities? Are we struggling just to maintain, or are we ready to take it to the next level? Changing the words we use changes everything. Why not try replacing the word problem in your vocabulary and see what happens?
Some good suggestions here.
Not all procrastination (or productivity, for that matter) is created equal, though.
It can sometimes be good to procrastinate - it can lead to less struggle, delay (counter-intuitive, but true), and more optimal functioning.
There’s a new book out titled Productive Procrastination, and it describes how to do it, how to tell productive from destructive procrastination, and how to end the destruction kind. (Yes, it’s available on Amazon.com.) Learn more about the concept of Procrastivity at http://www.Procrastivity.com. Wishing you optimal procrastivity!
Luciano, what a great article! It really wakes me up!
Thanks for sharing your thought here!
Robert
I’ll finish reading this later.
Luciano, thanks for this post. I like it!
Speaking of liking it, on the “I like it” vein, Tom Morris in his book, “The Art of Achievement” (pp.160,161, Subhead “Enjoy the Process”), mentions a strategy his wife uses with an undesirable task: (Here is my summary)
“Divide it, Nail it, Relish it.”
For example, when cutting the shrubs in the yard.
* Divide and Conquer (Set small goals)
* Do the goals in a satisfying manner (”ahhh, an artistic masterpiece”)
* Relish your accomplishment along the way
Thanks again,
Tom
This article speaks directly to me. It’s exactly what I have needed this week, last week, and the week before that. I’m pretty sure I can do some good to my life by taking this counsel to heart, even as I have passed the point of no return.
I wouldn’t say this is an excellent resource of advice. I’d say it’s a PERFECT resource of advice and is the only real way to address the problem. ( just reading it, I know this works. It’s a firm way to bring control back to my decisions, not my whims, obsessions or fears.)
I started looking at your site using StumbleUpon, and I’m excited to explore the rest of it, but I think I’ll do that later and most assuredly.
that’s exactly what I think to myself everyday… =__=’ and then I’m plagued with so much guilt that in short, it’s just overwhelming and.. the list goes on.
anyways, thanks for the advice + awesome article! definitely taking it to heart
Thanks for a great article. I found it just when I needed it!
Oh my god Luciano! Haha, by far one of the best on procrastination I’ve read. I was putting off doing what I have to do, by playing around on my feed reader, but now I choose to go off and start my work!
Great post!
Totally agree that Self Talk helps. I usually try to remind myself of my own thoughts every time I give in to procrastination. When there’s some project I don’t feel like finishing, random browsing for a few hours is not going to help and only makes it worse! So that’s why I let Firefox display me a page reminding me of the alternatives: instead of starting to procrastinate, this is what I know I would rather do:
- either just take a small step and enjoy some time off
- if I’m not productive now anyway, just sit in the sun or do some sports for the time I was about to start pointless browsing. That will surely make me more productive afterwards.
Thanks for the article.
As the queen of procrastination, I proclaim this article very useful! Now I’m going back to work before the kingdom rebels - with new words for self.
Great post. The power of choice is one that we’re quick to surrender, yet it is the one true super-power we all have. It’s fun to see which part of the procrastination mottow different people respond to. And, of course, that’s part of understanding the solution: that procrastination works on many levels, in different ways for different people. The solution is not one size fits all, but rather one imperfect step, starting to change, making a different choice, etc. Wonderful to see so many people gaining value from your wonderful post! Thanks.
Hi all,
this is the best post that i had ever seen, i really thanks luciano for this help, i never have understood why i procastinate but, unknowingly i use to, it feels so pleasent now after using guidelines for a while. I found all of my work to be done on time by starting it everytime.
Great article, it’s good to see a step-by-step approach to changing self-talk to procrastination specifically. Changing self-talk can also make a difference in many other areas, although for me it’s hard to remember to change my thoughts. Usually what happens for me is I will think negatively for a while, then realize my thoughts aren’t helping me, then tell myself, “Constructive, not destructive.” Then I think of a response to my current thought pattern.
very nice article i’ll subscribe to this!!
Thanks all for comments! I am glad to see how you’re all finding value in this post. It’s particularly curious to see how this article resonated well with StumbleUpon visitors. Would that be a coincidence?
@Jonathan: I believe that language has the power to strongly change our view of the world, and ultimately, change our behaviors. You’re right: this is a wide concept — one that applies well beyond procrastination alone. I will definitely write about how self-talk addresses other common problems here in the future. Thanks!
@pinky: Definitely. Each part of the motto speaks louder to different people. The important part is to recognize and pay more attention to the most troublesome parts.
In my case, for example, 90% of the problem is in the ‘overwhelm part’ (2. Finish → Start). Many people I know have problem with the ‘isolation part’ (6. Need to Plow Through → Have Plenty of Time for Play), and so on.
The Motto that I use that keeps me procrastinating is “I can do that tomorrow”. Those five words have kept me on the couch many-a-days and thanks to this article I’ll be getting up……… tomorrow, just kidding. Great Article!
That is spot on…
As we become aware of our feelings and thoughts, we get in a position where we can make conscious choices.
Before reaching this point, everything is running on autopilot.
Awareness is beautiful and has a positive effect in everyone around us +_+
The idea of self-talk is something that Dr Jeffrey Schwartz and Stephanie West-Allen (lawyer) talk about in their article Mind Hygeine. They call it a Golden Moment of Choice-GMC. Stephanie teaches classes on how to utilize this and the T-Notes she mentions in the article.
http://www.thecompletelawyer.c.....ppaid=8138