Comments on: Never Eat Alone http://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/ Exploring ways to use our minds efficiently. Fri, 16 Sep 2011 23:33:07 +0000 hourly 1 By: Bert Heymanshttp://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-58914 Bert Heymans Wed, 28 Apr 2010 14:19:28 +0000 http://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-58914 Thank you so much for that mindmap, very practical for review after reading the book. Thank you so much for that mindmap, very practical for review after reading the book.

]]> By: L.P.http://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-44670 L.P. Thu, 03 Dec 2009 08:57:36 +0000 http://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-44670 Easy for the author to say. Most of the time when I try to network and be friendly with people, they just end up hitting on me and then getting offended when I refuse to go on a date with them. It's much harder for girls sometimes. I feel like it gets me nowhere fast, but I refuse to compromise myself. It sucks. Now I wear fake wedding bands so no one can hold anything against me. Ha. Easy for the author to say. Most of the time when I try to network and be friendly with people, they just end up hitting on me and then getting offended when I refuse to go on a date with them. It’s much harder for girls sometimes. I feel like it gets me nowhere fast, but I refuse to compromise myself. It sucks. Now I wear fake wedding bands so no one can hold anything against me. Ha.

]]> By: Luciano Passuellohttp://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-37476 Luciano Passuello Thu, 27 Aug 2009 19:47:03 +0000 http://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-37476 Thanks once again for your thoughtful argument, Scott.Actually, I haven't seen it that way at first, but now --- pondering on your arguments --- it indeed seems you're right --- Keith Ferrazzi <em>does</em> leave the impression that you should be creating relationships all the time. I think the book contains many gems regardless, but yes, we could probably benefit filtering out parts of it.<strong>Did the book make anyone else uneasy? Would love to hear your opinions!</strong> Thanks once again for your thoughtful argument, Scott.

Actually, I haven’t seen it that way at first, but now — pondering on your arguments — it indeed seems you’re right — Keith Ferrazzi does leave the impression that you should be creating relationships all the time. I think the book contains many gems regardless, but yes, we could probably benefit filtering out parts of it.

Did the book make anyone else uneasy? Would love to hear your opinions!

]]> By: Scott Mhttp://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-37276 Scott M Mon, 24 Aug 2009 14:57:46 +0000 http://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-37276 Well, there is a difference between being 'open' to friendship and saying "business relationships should also be rooted on friendship and generosity".There is a difference between being ‘friendly’ and being ‘friends’. I think that everyone I deal with through my work would say that I'm a nice, friendly guy. But we aren't friends. Meaning that we don’t share common interests other than work.The first story related by the author of "Never Eat Alone" made me uneasy. He talked about how he did such a good job as a golf caddy for a particular woman, that he “became a de facto member of the Poland family, splitting holidays with them and hanging out at their house nearly every day."Now, I realize that he was a teenager, and friends with their teenaged son, so this doesn't translate directly into the adult world.But is this the kind of relationship I should always endeavor to have with business acquaintances? Isn't that, well, creepy? Do I need to be this involved with the lives of my coworkers? Really… we just work together!I think it's great if you can become friends with people in business. But the main point of "Never Eat Alone" seems to be that you should go out of your way to artificially CREATE these kinds of relationships all the time, rather than simply let them happen on occasion.And the minute you do that, it becomes something else. That's why they call it "networking" instead "making friends".Maybe other people just have a lower threshold for friendship. I just don't know. Well, there is a difference between being ‘open’ to friendship and saying “business relationships should also be rooted on friendship and generosity”.

There is a difference between being ‘friendly’ and being ‘friends’. I think that everyone I deal with through my work would say that I’m a nice, friendly guy. But we aren’t friends. Meaning that we don’t share common interests other than work.

The first story related by the author of “Never Eat Alone” made me uneasy. He talked about how he did such a good job as a golf caddy for a particular woman, that he “became a de facto member of the Poland family, splitting holidays with them and hanging out at their house nearly every day.”

Now, I realize that he was a teenager, and friends with their teenaged son, so this doesn’t translate directly into the adult world.

But is this the kind of relationship I should always endeavor to have with business acquaintances? Isn’t that, well, creepy? Do I need to be this involved with the lives of my coworkers? Really… we just work together!

I think it’s great if you can become friends with people in business. But the main point of “Never Eat Alone” seems to be that you should go out of your way to artificially CREATE these kinds of relationships all the time, rather than simply let them happen on occasion.

And the minute you do that, it becomes something else. That’s why they call it “networking” instead “making friends”.

Maybe other people just have a lower threshold for friendship. I just don’t know.

]]> By: Luciano Passuellohttp://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-37042 Luciano Passuello Thu, 20 Aug 2009 17:13:42 +0000 http://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-37042 Hey Scott, I completely understand you. Sure, don't try to force relationships if they're not genuine, but be open to the possibility that true friendship may arise from anywhere. Maybe the key takeaway is: don't raise barriers to friendship just because you're "doing business"...Does that make sense? Hey Scott, I completely understand you.
Sure, don’t try to force relationships if they’re not genuine, but be open to the possibility that true friendship may arise from anywhere. Maybe the key takeaway is: don’t raise barriers to friendship just because you’re “doing business”…

Does that make sense?

]]> By: Scott Mhttp://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-36861 Scott M Tue, 18 Aug 2009 04:01:45 +0000 http://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-36861 I'm sorry, but this blurring of personal and business relationships makes me uneasy.My personal relationships are chosen because I have some personal interest in common with the other person.My business relationships are chosen for me by my business.My personal interests and business interests are often not the same, so I would be disingenuous of me to attempt to make personal friends out of most of my business contacts. True, I am friends with some of my coworkers. But they are far an few between, because most of my coworkers don’t have the same sense of humor, or like the movies I watch, or share my politics, or listen to my music, or share my hobbies. I’m sorry, but this blurring of personal and business relationships makes me uneasy.

My personal relationships are chosen because I have some personal interest in common with the other person.

My business relationships are chosen for me by my business.

My personal interests and business interests are often not the same, so I would be disingenuous of me to attempt to make personal friends out of most of my business contacts. True, I am friends with some of my coworkers. But they are far an few between, because most of my coworkers don’t have the same sense of humor, or like the movies I watch, or share my politics, or listen to my music, or share my hobbies.

]]> By: Nataliahttp://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-15810 Natalia Sun, 26 Oct 2008 14:34:55 +0000 http://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-15810 Never Eat Alone is one of the greatest book I have ever read. It has changed my life and opened my eyes to the new "warm" (as it was said above) relationship in business. I now ordered couple of books of Keith Ferrazzi more to give as a gift to my friends for upcoming holidays and whenever I have a chance to recommend this book to others I will do so! Great article, Luciano! I have discovered your blog this week and I do trully enjoy it! keep up the great work! Never Eat Alone is one of the greatest book I have ever read. It has changed my life and opened my eyes to the new “warm” (as it was said above) relationship in business. I now ordered couple of books of Keith Ferrazzi more to give as a gift to my friends for upcoming holidays and whenever I have a chance to recommend this book to others I will do so!
Great article, Luciano! I have discovered your blog this week and I do trully enjoy it! keep up the great work!

]]> By: Luciano Passuellohttp://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-4897 Luciano Passuello Thu, 03 Apr 2008 14:01:45 +0000 http://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-4897 <strong>Rogier</strong>: The mind map looks great on your wall! Your photo made my day — thanks for sharing it! :) Regarding the contact form, I just tried it and it seems to be working fine. Maybe it didn’t work for you because the answer to that question has to be spelled out ('five' instead of '5'). Just in case, I replaced that particular security question with another to avoid any problems in the future. Thanks! Rogier: The mind map looks great on your wall! Your photo made my day — thanks for sharing it! :)
Regarding the contact form, I just tried it and it seems to be working fine. Maybe it didn’t work for you because the answer to that question has to be spelled out (‘five’ instead of ’5′). Just in case, I replaced that particular security question with another to avoid any problems in the future. Thanks!

]]> By: Rogierhttp://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-4829 Rogier Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:54:32 +0000 http://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-4829 Thanks a lot for your great MindMap of the book Never Eat Alone. I'm always having trouble remembering book content... . I loved your MindMap but it was so big... and I just want it on paper... It became a poster! :-)Check it out here: http://picasaweb.google.com/r.vwagtendonk/JustSomeIceland/photo#5184965579830088658Tnx again!Rogierbtw 10 minus 5 equals 5 or am i becoming crazy?.... didn't worked on your contact form.. Thanks a lot for your great MindMap of the book Never Eat Alone. I’m always having trouble remembering book content… . I loved your MindMap but it was so big… and I just want it on paper… It became a poster! :-)

Check it out here: http://picasaweb.google.com/r.vwagtendonk/JustSomeIceland/photo#5184965579830088658

Tnx again!

Rogier

btw 10 minus 5 equals 5 or am i becoming crazy?…. didn’t worked on your contact form..

]]> By: Rogierhttp://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-3593 Rogier Sun, 30 Mar 2008 19:20:16 +0000 http://litemind.com/never-eat-alone/#comment-3593 Amazing... how this MindMap works.. so freaking cool!! :-)Thank you very much! Love the book Never Eat Alone.. and want to have in my mind always! Amazing… how this MindMap works.. so freaking cool!! :-)

Thank you very much! Love the book Never Eat Alone.. and want to have in my mind always!

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