Procrastination is probably the single biggest success killer out there, as it affects everyone to some degree or another.
At first sight, it may seem something simple to get rid of, but telling a chronic procrastinator to just get on with it is like telling a heavy smoker to just stop: it just doesn’t work that way.
Procrastinators usually already know exactly what they should be doing. That’s why typical approaches such as ‘getting organized’ usually don’t work. Of course, there are several tools that do help, but the fact is that procrastination is a complex psychological behavior and, as such, should be tackled at the psychological level first.
Watch Your Language
We engage in mental dialogs with ourselves all the time. Just like when talking to other people, paying attention to how we talk to ourselves is extremely important if you want effective communication.
When procrastinating, we often talk to ourselves like this:
- “I have to go to the dentist.”
- “I have to fill my tax forms.”
Procrastinators try to force themselves into action by saying they ‘have to’ do some task. Despite the good intentions, this is the worst expression to be used if you want to get motivated into action. Sadly, it is also the most commonly used.
Why ‘Have To’ Is So Bad?
1. You Send Disempowering Messages to Yourself
When you say to yourself that you have to do something, there are many implicit messages that go along with it, such as:
- "I don’t want to do it."
- "They’re making me do it."
- "I have to do it… or else!”
These subliminal messages generate negative feelings such as stress, victimhood, resistance and confusion – all of them draining valuable energy from your brain.
2. You Put Yourself in a No-Win Situation
When facing a task you have to do, there are only two possible outcomes.
If you don’t do the task, you will be somehow punished by the environment or at least just by your own conscience. On the other hand, if you end up doing the task, you have the feeling you are making something against your will.
3. You Engage in Non-Productive Dialog
The ‘have to’ script is a behavior learned in your childhood. At that time, you had other people deciding most of your life for you – and in many occasions, the best explanation given when you argued was just “because you have to” – creating anger and frustration.
Now you just repeat those conversations, but playing both roles at once: the authoritarian and the victim. That just serves to drain your energy and drive your attention away from the task.
The Power of Choice
Procrastinators usually try to avoid the negative responses above by telling themselves they “just need more discipline”. That statement only makes things even worse – as it reinforces the fact that they don’t really want to do the task. We should use a different approach instead.
Be honest with yourself. Do you really have to go to dentist? Do you really have to fill your tax forms?
No, you don’t.
Deep inside, you know it’s your choice. You are the one deciding against having rotten teeth. You are the one deciding against having trouble with the government. It’s obvious, but we often forget about it.
So, next time you catch yourself using ‘ I have to’ in your thoughts, just try this instead:
- “I choose to go the dentist.”
- “I choose to file my tax return.”
By using this empowering alternative, you show total control of the situation. By rephrasing your thoughts using choices, you take your focus away from the work involved in the task and put your attention back on the benefits and reasons why you are doing it.
Just contrast these two statements, with their implicit explanations that your brain inevitably fills out for you:
- “I have to go to the dentist (…and because of that I won’t be doing something fun instead).”
- “I choose to go to the dentist (…and because of that I will have even healthier teeth).”
Suddenly you forget about the negative emotions associated with the dread of the task, and start enjoying the positive emotions associated with its outcome. You focus more on the solution than on the problem. And that alone often brings you back the motivation to immediately tackle the task.
You will also reclaim the energy you were wasting by your old thought pattern and channel it back entirely into the task at hand.
This simple word substitution sounds almost too simplistic to work. But it’s amazing how it can alone break a long chain of negative and repetitive behavior. When it comes to beating procrastination, it all starts by being in the right state of mind.
What If I Still Don’t Want to Do the Task?
If even after using this technique you still don’t feel like doing the task, this may be a hint that you shouldn’t bother doing it at all.
Remember, now you’re dealing with a legitimate choice. Using ‘I choose…’ is not just mind trickery – you do really have the power to decide. If you end up deciding by not doing the task – so be it, then!
Live the consequences, move on and don’t worry about it anymore.
I’m glad that you plan to have more collaborative projects here. I took part in the...
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Neurolinguistics? Passuello and Lair Ribeiro?
The Secret - perhaps?
Just joking.
Are you planning to extend this subject? It’s really interesting.
Dude! I am addicted to make TO DO lists and always drive my days with: “I have to”…
I guess you are right, there is an obligation weight to me.
I will try this new sentence “I choose” and then I tell you the results…
Luciano:
I completely understand the jokes. Self-talk is really a fertile ground for wishy-washy self-help. I hope you try this technique and find out this is not the case.
Yes, I do plan to write more about procrastination. It is a complex topic that affects everyone, and definitely there’s a lot to be explored.
cinalli:
To-do lists are indeed related to procrastination, as they are usually long and overwhelming. I appreciate if you report back your results after trying this technique for a few days.
I really liked this subject… I’ve never thought about the way I use to think about my “To Do” list every single day, and its relationship with the stress about doing the stuff!
I love this idea of improving our self-talk to overcome procrastination, Luciano! I think people often overlook it, but self-talk does have such great effect as you described.
Hey! Great site! I think you should mention on this article that procrastination can also be a side-effect of mental issues like depression. People may feel that they are complete failures and have no motivation to do anything, but the procrastination doesn’t come from procrastination per say, but from a depression or other deeper problem! I just think it would be good to point this out! It’s not well known that mental issues can cause this and the procrastination can make the person feel really bad about themselves!
Hi Luke,
Thanks for pointing out additional causes of procrastination. I realize that this post only scratches the surface regarding this subject. Procrastination is a complex problem with many facets, and I plan to explore it more thoroughly in other posts. In this meantime, I suggest you take a look at The Now Habit book review.
I wholeheartedly agree with this article, and I want to share two resources that have taught me similar things.
Firstly, FlyLady of flylady.net has been “flywashing” her readers/listeners into “blessing your home” instead of “doing chores”. She has written email essays about how it feels good to work on making one’s home peaceful, decluttered, and clean, FOR YOURSELF to enjoy, instead of feeling like you have to do it to please your family or impress your friends.
Secondly, Merlin Mann has a podcast that suggests looking at your To Do list as a “To Have Done” list:
http://www.43folders.com/2005/.....-done-list
It’s another way to look at tasks as stuff you’d like done rather than stuff hanging over your head making you feel guilty.
It really is amazing how much the mind can trick itself into not doing things….!
Qrystal: These are excellent examples on how proper self-talk trumps ‘discipline’ for getting stuff done (not to mention you end up feeling better, too).
Thank you very much for sharing!
This article is just what I needed to read at this moment.
I am writing my doctoral disseration, and sometimes it’s really a pain to sit in this room for hours to write or analyze data when the sun is shinning out there and lots of fun stuff seem to be hapenning around.
As you said, the lack of “to do” lists is not a problem. I have plenty of them!! It is clear to me what has to get done and in what order. My actual problem is the resistance I feel -even in my stomach- everytime I think of sitting at the computer and WORK on the thesis. That feeling tells me that I could be happier doing something else, including nothing at all!
I really like your “I choose to” suggestion. It’s true, when I say it I don’t have the strong bad feeling anymore, especially if I start thinking of the benefits of my choice. I will try it over and over and see how it goes. It is my honest desire to finish this thesis and it’s nice doing it! I do indeed have fun with it. Maybe the problem -as you suggest- lies in the wording I use. I will change it.
Thanks a lot, I’ll start choosing right now!
All the best,
Monica: Thanks for sharing your pain. I would love to know if rewording your intentions helped you in finishing your dissertation. Would you please report back here about how did it work out for you?
For more procrastination bashing, you may want to check the excellent book The Now Habit. Another technique definitely worth trying is Time Boxing.
Good luck!
Thank you for posting this article. I also try hard to work on procrastination as much as humanly possible and this article helps tremendously. My appreciation to you is in the highest sense.
To show you my gratitude I would like to share with you a post I found that also helps with this: http://consciousflex.blogspot......er-in.html
Thank you indeed. I hope it helps you and others who read as much as this post of yours as helped, please keep up the incredible work in helping others!
Hi, Divine. Thanks for the link. I wholeheartedly agree with the article that the main cause of procrastination is fear. It may be many kinds of fear: fear of failure, fear of what others will say and even fear of success come to mind.
I came across your article, i think i procrastinate alot but i rarely make to-do lists. I seem to have so much trouble getting the motivation to ANYTHING. it is like being alive is a chore. do you think maybe it is more complex then just severe procrastination?
Shane: It’s really hard to say. Normally, when I am procrastinating, I know I am procrastinating. However, I’m not sure if it works like that for everybody… When in doubt, the best option always is looking for professional help.